You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.