If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.