If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.