It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.