You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.