You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.