Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.