Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

As an actor, there was that freedom of not having to worry about lights or marks or other people. It was just going out there and having fun with the character.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!