Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.