Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.