You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.

I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.