You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.