You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now. And we have the painters in, putting sheets up around the furniture, you know? And we have a piano, just a regular, up against the wall piano. One of the painters said to me, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "Nah, that's our coffee table, it just has buckteeth! Here's your Sign!

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.