Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.