You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.