You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.