Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.