Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.