fish and visitors stink in 3 days.

Dear Aunt Loretta, Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the pants look on my legs! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget

It's not easy to writing thank-you notes for the stuff you didn't want in the first place.

The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any more.

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

I think goodreads is the best place to look for books