I didn't really know what to expect from detention but when I waked into the room, the first thought I had was, I don't belong in here with these future criminals.

So if you want to find somebody to blame for the way i am, I guess you'd have to start with the public education system.

I think humor is key [to a successful middle-grade novel]. Kids like to read for entertainment, and the best way to entertain kids is to make them laugh.

Because it's our choices that makes us who we are.

The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any more.

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist? Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!