Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist? Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

Because it's our choices that makes us who we are.

He got the crib, so for the first few months of my life I had to sleep in the top dresser drawer, which I'm pretty sure isn't even legal.