So if you want to find somebody to blame for the way i am, I guess you'd have to start with the public education system.

Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!

He got the crib, so for the first few months of my life I had to sleep in the top dresser drawer, which I'm pretty sure isn't even legal.

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

Mom is always saying I'm a smart kid, but that I just don't apply myself.

First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.

I`m basically one of the best people I know.