hey guys i would like you to try this book you will love it!

... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.

Dear Aunt Loretta, Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the pants look on my legs! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg

Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.

I labored for eight years thinking that I was writing a book for adults that was a nostalgic look back on childhood. Then my publisher informed me I'd written a children's book.