Then one day, this kid named Darren Walsh touched the Cheese with his finger, and that's what started this thing called the Cheese Touch. It's basically like the Cooties. If you get the Cheese Touch, you're stuck with it until you pass it on to someone else. The only way to protect yourself from the Cheese Touch is to cross your fingers.

Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want.

I think Diary of a Wimpy kidis sooooo good!!!!!!!

I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.

I didn't really know what to expect from detention but when I waked into the room, the first thought I had was, I don't belong in here with these future criminals.

I only work on my books at nights and at weekends. It is really just like a hobby.

First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.