I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley.

I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.

Dear Aunt Loretta, Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the pants look on my legs! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg

I only work on my books at nights and at weekends. It is really just like a hobby.

I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley.

It's not easy to writing thank-you notes for the stuff you didn't want in the first place.

If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.