Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.

Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face.

Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.

Comedians a lot of times we're on the road, we're by our self. We come home to New York to our empty one-bedroom apartment, you know, and we need a place to go where you see a bunch of other miserable people sit around and eat a corned beef sandwich.

I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes.

Life has to keep going, so you can either be a victim the rest of your life and let it drag you down into drugs and alcohol and depression or you can turn it into something good, fun even, you know, and I tell young people who are going through depression that this might be the most important time of your life. This might be what makes you a great artist later on.

Before you can be all deprecating it's helpful to be self-deprecating.