Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.

I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.

Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction.

When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?

No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning.

I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.