If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.

Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.

Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth