Looking good in Italy is even more important than looking where you're going.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.

Why is the forecast so bland? Why instead of 'stormy' don't they just say the sea's 'a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness'?

.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette

I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.