There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!

When we went to Canada [with Top Gear], I was staggered about how many people got in touch ... Before we finish with The Grand Tour, we'll definitely be appearing in Canada at some point. Nothing is more certain than that.

Ecologically speaking, a spilt tanker load is like sticking a safety pin into an elephant's foot. The planet barely notices. After the Exxon Valdez accident in Alaska the oil company spent billions tidying up the coastline, but it was a waste of money because the waves were cleaning up faster than Exxon could. Environmentalists can never accept the planet's ability to self-heal.

Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.

It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.

Does anyone really imagine for a moment that my wife gives two stuffs about global warming? She certainly did not appear to be all that bothered on Thursday evening when, during the great carbon-saving switch-off, I ran round the house furiously turning on every light, hair dryer, dishwasher and toaster.

The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!