Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.

This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.

The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!

Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.”

Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.