...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.

The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition.

Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain.