The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite

If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western, and you've got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude - it's not a holiday programme, it's the truth.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Selling through the internet seems to be a very good idea. There are a million areas that we can go to.

This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.

I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.

Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.