The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite

The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler

This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.

If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!

Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?

I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.