My epiglottis is full of bees!

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.

Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

Looking good in Italy is even more important than looking where you're going.

They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.