My epiglottis is full of bees!

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.

You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.

All this health and safety talk is just killing me.

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.