Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.

Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands and turn the entire third world into a huge uninhabitable desert, all that before they nicked all the oil in the world.

We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste.

When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.

Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite

Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain.