Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.

Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain.

The "public" seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that death is something that only happens to people who eat meat and smoke.

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Does anyone really imagine for a moment that my wife gives two stuffs about global warming? She certainly did not appear to be all that bothered on Thursday evening when, during the great carbon-saving switch-off, I ran round the house furiously turning on every light, hair dryer, dishwasher and toaster.

Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.