You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them?

She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed.

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.