Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?

My epiglottis is full of bees!

[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.

The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!

You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!

If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!