Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.

Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.

Looking good in Italy is even more important than looking where you're going.

They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.