Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.”

Does anyone really imagine for a moment that my wife gives two stuffs about global warming? She certainly did not appear to be all that bothered on Thursday evening when, during the great carbon-saving switch-off, I ran round the house furiously turning on every light, hair dryer, dishwasher and toaster.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

Looking good in Italy is even more important than looking where you're going.

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them?