We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.

Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth

Ecologically speaking, a spilt tanker load is like sticking a safety pin into an elephant's foot. The planet barely notices. After the Exxon Valdez accident in Alaska the oil company spent billions tidying up the coastline, but it was a waste of money because the waves were cleaning up faster than Exxon could. Environmentalists can never accept the planet's ability to self-heal.

Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite