I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool.

If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them?

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!

I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.

Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun - except at 4am when they hear a strange sound in the kitchen.

This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.