It seems a shallow observation, but... the Tory Conference are not an attractive lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were born in the same village, you'd blame pollution, wouldn't you?

The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child's party where you realise you've forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.

Northern Ireland is part of Ireland, not Britain, as can clearly be seen from aerial photographs.

Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn't work.

You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.

The only way you can ever accuse a Conservative of hypocrisy is if they walk past a homeless person without kicking him in the face.

If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there would be a brighter future for us all.