Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.

You never really know a woman till you meet her in court.

Of course, the whole Andy Kaufman angle was classic. I'm real proud of that. I mean that is something people are still talking about 20 years later, making movies about and that sort of thing. I mean not a day goes by that someone doesn't mention Andy Kaufman to me

When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!"

When most people get drunk, they see snakes. But, when snakes get drunk, they see Jake Roberts!

I've been here for nine years, and over that time, these people have become like my family.

Get that strait jacket that Heidenreich had and put it on Lita!