You know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes.
It used to be that Shamrock was the world's most dangerous man, but now Shamrock is the world's most dangerous speedbump.
You never really know a woman till you meet her in court.
Jake 'The Snake's' two best friends are Jim Beam & Jack Daniels.
ECW stands for Extremely Crappy Wrestling.
What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!