When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.

I really am opinionated, but not for long. I have found myself coming off of what I think of something because the guy I'm talking to makes better sense than I am. I have so many points of view, I can't keep track of 'em, because I talk to too many people... I'm not so opinionated that I won't budge.

You may catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you'll get them to work harder if you use a flyswatter.

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.

I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them.