I think of myself as a funny guy but nobody thinks I'm funnier than my daughters.

When you have little girls, you're the coolest person in the world. I know at some point that's going to end; in their adolescence I'll become the opposite of that, especially if I'm parked outside a high school party.

Playing professional football is something I'll never be able to do.

Dogs are the only mammals that will actually stare and look into a human’s eyes.

With Jerry Bruckheimer, you know you'll get your money's worth. You're getting huge action sequences, it's going to be funny, and you know it's going to look great.

Buddy of mine once told me that he'd rather fly a jet than kiss his girl. Said it gave him more of a kick.

There's no better feeling than making your little girls laugh.