People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.

If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.

What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?

I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings

There is no such thing as an attention span. There is only the quality of what you are viewing. This whole idea of an attention span is, I think, a misnomer. People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.

The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.

I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!