Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.

I love being a dad. I just love it.

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.

I love the day date. No wine, no shower.

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.

You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy.