There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.
People should get married because they have finally seen the folly of being single: "Oh, this is all just kind of a bad magic trick. I just keep bending over to reach for this wallet on a string. How much longer am I gonna do that?"
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.