I feel like humor is the answer to everything. If you have a little bit of humor in the shaker and you can sprinkle that on, that's your answer.
Jerry SeinfeldWhat I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
Jerry SeinfeldAll magic is 'Hereโs a quarter, now itโs gone. Youโre a jerk. Now itโs back. Youโre an idiot. Showโs over.'
Jerry SeinfeldMen, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.
Jerry SeinfeldDid you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
Jerry SeinfeldWhy does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? "Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people."
Jerry Seinfeld