If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
All I ever wanted to do is make people laugh.
You can measure distance by time. 'How far away is it?' 'Oh about 20 minutes.' But it doesn't work the other way. 'When do you get off work?' 'Around 3 miles.'
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.