Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.

I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.

I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.

Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"

I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings