There is no such thing as an attention span. There is only the quality of what you are viewing. This whole idea of an attention span is, I think, a misnomer. People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.

A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.

The greatest Jewish tradition is to laugh. The cornerstone of Jewish survival has always been to find humor in life and in ourselves.

Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than into the rest of society combined.

People don't just bump into each other and have sex. This isn't Cinemax.

You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy.

[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.