I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be, and more!

Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?

We got the hot fudge on the bottom.... that allows you to control the fudge distribution while you're eating your ice cream.

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?