What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big. That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.

There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.

But I don't want to be a pirate!

People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.

Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?

You know how your charger for your phone? It's like if you had a charger for your whole body and mind