What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big. That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.

There's nothing more fun than entertaining kids.

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

Having fun is a very particular skill. And not everyone has that skill.

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'

I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup?

Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on 'How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?