We know the product is going to stink. We know that because we live in the world, and we know that everything stinks. We all believe, Hey, maybe this one wont stink. We are a hopeful species. Stupid but hopeful. But were happy in that moment between the commercial and the purchase. And I think spending your life trying to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services is an excellent use of your energy.

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than into the rest of society combined.

Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities.

Comedy is just complaining in an entertaining way, Enterplaining.

When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard.

If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.