We know the product is going to stink. We know that because we live in the world, and we know that everything stinks. We all believe, Hey, maybe this one wont stink. We are a hopeful species. Stupid but hopeful. But were happy in that moment between the commercial and the purchase. And I think spending your life trying to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services is an excellent use of your energy.

Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.

Pay attention; don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

You can measure distance by time. 'How far away is it?' 'Oh about 20 minutes.' But it doesn't work the other way. 'When do you get off work?' 'Around 3 miles.'

I love advertising because I love lying.

Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.