Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be, and more!

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.

Having fun is a very particular skill. And not everyone has that skill.